Episode Transcript
Chris Rodell [00:00:00]:
Today, we're going to talk about lost and founds of the rich and famous. The fabulously wealthy are just like you and I, in that they forget their stuff, whereas you and I forget things like ball caps and computer cords. Wait till you get a load of The stuff that they forget. Hi. I'm Chris Rodell. I've written stories and features for just about every magazine or publication in America. This is the Use all the crayons podcast where I will share those colorful stories with you. Your name is Tim McCauley.
Chris Rodell [00:00:28]:
You're the owner of the Breezewood Motel in Breezewood, Pennsylvania. Describe your lost and found and what's in it. Well, we really don't have a lost and found. I just keep the stuff we find here behind the counter. There's a couple of pillows, some scarves, some gloves, and a New York Yankees ball cap. His name is Arthur Bermelin. He's the director of security at the Breakers in Palm Beach, Florida. Lost and found at the Fayetteville Resort is the size of a 2 car garage, contains contents similar in substance to what's secured at Fort Knox.
Chris Rodell [00:00:57]:
There are expensive bracelets, Rolex watches, diamond earrings worth more than $10,000, says Berbalin. Mere baubles compared to some of the items distracted well-to-do guests have left behind at The of America's premier resorts. We had The guest forget a satchel with more than $200,000 in jewelry, he says. Housekeeping found it. The watch alone was worth $100,000. More than that, the watch had a priceless cash value. It was inscribed by Johnny Cash, he said. She asked that we mail it back to her in Nashville.
Chris Rodell [00:01:27]:
We told her insurance complications would not allow us to do That, so she hired an armored car to pick it up and drive it back to Tennessee. The richest people in America are just like the rest of us. They forget stuff too. It's just what they forget that fascinates. Diana Bulger's a spokesperson for the Fairmont Hotel and Resorts property. She canvassed her associates and found a laundry list of sundry items in the lost and founds of the rich and famous. A diamond encrusted Cartier watch, an entire set of golf clubs, a pair of Rolex watches, a brand new Louis Vuitton wallet, divorce papers, bags of marijuana, a professional flute, and somebody at the Fairmont Banff Springs forgot a car. Oh, and they all report finding lots and lots of cash.
Chris Rodell [00:02:09]:
Vermelin's team dealt with their share of cash too, and he's talking about the currency, not the man in black. The guest checked out and left $5,000 in cash and $100 bills in The safe. The guest ignored daily phone calls informing him something of value was left behind. After about 10 days, he finally called back and said the only thing of value he could have possibly left behind was cash. He said, I always take cash with me to gamble, and it's always in $100 bills. But he couldn't say how much. Unable to land a guess even in the ballpark, the guest amicably agreed to donate the loot to a worthy charity, a welcome destination for most of the unclaimed items. The Breakers and the Breezewood may seem to have little in common.
Chris Rodell [00:02:51]:
Rooms at the Breakers range from 400 to $24100 a night. The Breezewood, no website, $32.00 to 37.80. But they share an admirable quality that goes unmentioned in the guidebooks, ethical staff. Mister All recently found a wallet with $4,000 in it. When he came back to get the wallet, he couldn't believe none of it was missing. McCauley says, I told him we'd be nothing without our honesty. Random Arnold Palmer moment. One of the joys of interviewing mister Palmer was trying to catch him off guard.
Chris Rodell [00:03:22]:
And I remember one time, he was so competitive. I like to jab him on his competitive streak. And in 2013, his rival, Gary Player, was commissioned to do to appear nude on the cover of ESPN the magazine. He's about 76 at the time. And I said to mister Palmer, I said, your rival, Gary Paul Player, is appearing nude on the cover of ESPN the magazine. And I said, he's talking about his fitness regimen that he never eats bacon. He never drinks alcohol. He does 500 push ups a day.
Chris Rodell [00:03:50]:
Said, mister Palmer, what's your fitness regimen? And he said, well, I drink a hell of a lot of kettle 1 vodka. I, for years, been to many various sporting events that have been described as slug fests, where I never saw a single slug. None of them were all that festive to boot. How come slugfest never involved slugs? I love a good offbeat food festival and I have through the years written many stories about them. There's the The Frog Leg Festival every January in Fellissmoor, Florida, followed, I guess, by the Legless Frog Wheelchair Festival every February. The Calf Fry Festival motto, 24 years of turning bulls into steers, is in Stillwater, Oklahoma each April. Calf fries are bull or calf testicles that are peeled, sliced, breaded, and deep fried, presumably after they've been removed from the animal. Each June, Zilker Park in fabulous Austin has the bug eating festival featuring fried grasshoppers, wasps, hissing, roaches, and scorpions.
Chris Rodell [00:04:47]:
All and I had one of our best meals ever at Austin at the famed Driscoll Hotel. It took place over 4 hours and featured a decadent 18 courses. Any charming seaside communities have yearly oysterfests. I'd attend every one of them if I could. I just love oysters. But what makes a slimy ocean oyster so culinary superior to the slimy slug? After all, escargot are served in all the fanciest restaurants for about a buck a bug. And what is a slug but a snail without a shell? The eat the weeds website says slugs are perfectly edible as long as you cook them thoroughly, or else they can kill you. Big whoop.
Chris Rodell [00:05:21]:
Take your life into your hands going to Chipotle these days. I propose Latrobe community leaders rally around hosting America's first actual slugfest. It could mirror our great annual America's Banana Split Festival, only instead of banana splits, the feature would be slugs. We could have slug eating contests. Our talented local chefs could create recipes to see who makes the tastiest slugs. How about slug racing? Could paint tiny numbers on the sides of slugs and set up a speed slug race to see which is the fastest slug in the Greater Latrobe. And it could artfully incorporate all The uses of the term slug that have nothing to do with slugs. We'd have sluggers from local Saloon League softball teams see who could slug the ball the farthest.
Chris Rodell [00:06:02]:
Craftsmen and women could make folk art from slugs gathered at the ranges of our many local gun clubs. I foresee scholarly presentations by slug experts familiar with arcane slug facts. For instance, did you know that slugs have 27,000 teeth? It's true. And to honor the fact, I suggest we find a slug dentist to serve as the grand marshal of the 1st annual slugfest parade. The slugfest dance would be a huge hit with those who are normally too shy to shag. Why? Because slugs are hermaphrodites. They're sexual independence and don't need partners to reproduce. I can't devote another second thinking of ways Latrobe can make this event the success I'm sure it's destined to be.
Chris Rodell [00:06:42]:
For some reason, I'm all of a sudden feeling really sluggish.
John Jamison [00:06:49]:
John Jamieson, retired sheep farmer, Crabtree, Pennsylvania. Why
Chris Rodell [00:06:59]:
is Jamison Lamb the best lamb in the world?
John Jamison [00:07:02]:
It's the best lamb in the world because we have the best grass in the world. Tony Bourdain said we started all of the change in the food business.
Chris Rodell [00:07:11]:
That's a lot to be proud of.
John Jamison [00:07:13]:
It was a big deal.
Stan Gordon [00:07:14]:
Hi. I'm Stan Gordon, researcher and author, and here's your colorful living tip of the day. Don't act surprised when scientists claim earth has been rotating for 4.53 billion years. Be surprised it's never started to squeak.
Chris Rodell [00:07:34]:
I think it's time huge corporations are allowed to bid for hurricane naming rights the way they do on football stadiums. This would generate millions to reduce The federal deficit and give corporate branding mavens more muscular platforms than, say, a 30 second commercial bumping up against Hawaii 5 o. They've been naming hurricanes since 1953, which strikes me as odd because there have been hurricanes throughout history right up until 1953. It's not like naming things was unfashionable prior to the Eisenhower administration. We've been naming children for 1000s of years, and they can be at least as destructive as your typical cat 4. Initially, weather systems that reached tropical storm intensity were given exclusively female names.
Chris Rodell [00:08:14]:
That must have made for some interesting cocktail party chatter at the US weather bureau. The competition must have been fierce among the male meteorologists, deeming wives and girlfriends worthy of being associated with a really big and messy blow. Of course, that kind of blatant misogyny could not endure. Who do these petty weathermen think they were, members of Augusta National? So the naming system became gender neutral. Now the World Meteorological Organization creates and maintains the annual lists. Names are used on a 6 year rotation with the deadliest or most notable storms having their names retired. The first tropical storm or hurricane of the year has a name that begins with letter a, the second second begins with letter b, and so on. For reasons I could not detect, the letters q and u are left unused.
Chris Rodell [00:08:58]:
So, drumroll, please. Here are the names for the 2024 Atlantic hurricane season. Arlene, Brett, Cindy, Don, Emily, Franklin, Gert, Harvey, Irene, Jose, Katya, Lee, Maria, Nate, Ophelia, Philippe, Rina, Sean, Tammy, Vince, and Whitney. For a list that is likely to cause multibillion dollars in damage, the names are a rather tame bunch. Don? Cindy? Irene? Those don't sound like hurricanes. They sound like characters from Brady Bunch reruns. It's all one big bore. Might sound contrary to prevailing political turns toward civility, but how about allowing the sitting president to name the ignasties? That might be unduly harsh.
Chris Rodell [00:09:44]:
That's why, with everything else in America, I say we'll leave it up to the wisdom of our mightiest corporations. When a hurricane begins roiling the waters off The Virgin Islands, The Weather Channel can host the gala where bids are taken to earn hurricane naming rights. It'd be as ballyhooed as NFL draft night on ESPN. Of course, insurance companies and big drug manufacturers will swamp the proceedings, but hurricane Hallmark would lend itself to great commercial opportunities. And what would it be without a little whimsy? Can you imagine the trending boost Flexafoil would get if by sponsoring a hurricane with winds over 155 miles per hour? Never heard of Flexafoil? They make kites, and getting a storm of publicity for any kite manufacturer sponsoring a hurricane is bound to be a real breeze. If you enjoy the podcast, we urge you to complete the podcast Road to Success triathlon of share, rate, and review. Be sure to tell all your friends and urge them to do the same. Thanks to our friends at Headspace Media and Latrobe for technological expertise and for always being gentle in their criticisms.
Chris Rodell [00:10:46]:
And thanks to Robindale Energy for their gracious and essential support. Interested in visiting Latrobe in the lovely Laurel Highlands? Start your journey at go Laurel Highlands dotcom, or stop at the Landmark Tin Lizzie just down the street from world famous La Trobe Country Club and ask for me.
Mike Ciotti [00:11:03]:
Learn the fine art of knowing precisely when to quit.
Chris Rodell [00:11:07]:
Thank you.
Mike Ciotti [00:11:08]:
Yes.
